Made sense to me

One day I got stuck with this missionary who thought he was the best thing ever. He had to go on a split with me for a few hours. We we went on knocked on some doors. This one lady answers and says she isn't interested. I said, "well hold on, what's with all these tubes in your apartment?" She starts to tell us all about her hamsters. It was the craziest setup I have ever seen. Hamsters just hanging out in tubed that spread throughout her whole apartment. you could just see them in different areas. She asked me if I wanted one. I declined. She asked me if I was allergic, I told her I did not know. She said the only way to find out is to rub one on your face. I chuckled and she said,"I have one right here", and then pulled one out of her sweater pocket. the other missionary looked at me like don't do it man, this is weird. And I just said, "rub it on me!" The good news is I found out I'm not allergic to hamsters. We left shortly after, our walk was pretty quiet. I finally said, "good thing I'm not allergic to hamsters." He just glared at me, and I told him he wasn't very fun. I'm sure he got over it.
There were no hamsters harmed in this story.

Spencer; the Myth, the Legend.

I was in a small farming town called Cornelius. Not a whole lot happened there. The people were awesome, and the town had fantastic tacos. One day we went to teach a guy named Spencer. Turns out he was "blind". I use quotes not to be insensitive, but you'll understand later. After  a few visits with him we realized that he only really wanted us to come do service. Not a bad thing, but we really wanted to teach him. My companion and I made a plan to teach him or nothing. We got there and he asked to do service. I agreed even though I didn't want to. we went into the back room of his trailer and he asked us to move the hospital bed to the side of the room where his massage table was, and switch them. I was super confused why he had a massage table, but whatever. That was not the weirdest thing about him. As we are moving the be I realized that the bed was on wheels. I moved the massage table into the hallway, but it got stuck. So I began to lift it up, and it was not making a sound, when Spencer shouts out, "Hey! Don't lift that up! I mean if you are don't." It got super awkward after that. Man was I mad. Turns out he wasn't that blind. I wish I could have told him off, but I was just so confused/upset by my previous decision to dance a jig in front of him while he was talking. I guess he saw that as well.

A terrible friend

This weekend was really rough. I had to get my homework done, watch hecka movies, and do yard work. Now doing all of these things makes you work up quite and appetite. So naturally my Mom asks me to go get Taco Bell for her, myself, and my aunt Pam. Dream come true, right? I pull in on a Saturday evening and I'm the only one in the drive thru. So I order and pull forward. After waiting for two minutes the little girl working the window says, "Can you pull to the front and wait? we have to do this for such a large order." Let me remind you that there is still no one else in line. I was like who for me? I'm feeding to older ladies an myself, but okay. After thinking about it, why would you say that to someone? She may as well have said, "Hey fat troll! Get out and push your car to the front before you devour this large amount of food. You're disgusting." The bulk of the food was mine, but good golly they made it sound like I ordered the whole menu. I'll never forget this Taco Bell and I will continue to boycott. Unless you send me a free cheesy gorditta crunch. I can't stay mad at those. No picture can display my hurt and anger.

She's a 10

Recently someone said that I should work on making a dating profile. I said, "Why don't you dummy!" I then quickly apologized to my mother so that she would make dinner. Only to be disappointed because it was spaghetti. Not even with meatballs! Just chunks of meat! Anyway, I thought about what she said and I finally figured out what I would be looking for. Mary Tyler Moore! She is a 10! She's good looking, has a great personality, and is hard working. She was a flipping producer/home maker! I mean she hasn't aged super well, but whatever.. She even dealt with Richie, an annoying little boy who always ran into closets. What an odd little guy. Plus she knows Richard Wayne and I could hangout with him! that guy is awesome. So if you're a Mary Tyler Moore, I'm listening. Below is a picture of her and Richard Wayne just being buddies. Classic them!

Movie review

This week I thought I would give everyone a break from all the craziness and do a movie review. The movie I am reviewing is a classic film from Disney, Robin Hood. The film is a take on the classic tale of Robin Hood, but what makes this so intriguing is the characters. There is no Russell Crow playing Robin, instead he is portrayed by a flipping fox! Can you believe that?  That alone gave it three stars. What a turn of events! Some of the other characters were a bear, a turtle, a snake, a lion, and another fox. Which I found to be offensive. Maid Marian is a fox and is supposed to be the attractive one. I just think they could have chosen a hippo or a mongoose. Wake up Disney! Quit giving us all these stereotypes! Then her friend is a hen. The hen is big and takes no crap. Classic hen, right? well Disney is just saying that if  you are small and pretty you can not take care of yourself, but if you a large and crazy you should try and fight all of the kings men. Overall the quality in sound was okay, the picture wasn't great, the jokes were out dated. So I am giving this an overall rating of 4.5 stars. I still smile thinking about Robin Hood as a fox. LOLZ!

Music

Tupac, Ricky Martin, Biggie Smalls,  Tech N9ne, Chumbawamba, Black Street. What do all of these artists have in common? Making straight up sick jams with hard beats. The kind of music you would listen to and the car next to you would say, "Hey! Turn that music down, sir!" You know who doesn't make this list of raw and edgy artists? Selena Gomez. She makes pop music that speaks to the soul. By being a serious SAGO fan, I would know, but today I was offended. While on my drive to work Selena Gomez's hit song "same old love" comes on my playlist. I do what any SOGO fan would do, rolled down my windows, stretched out my vocal chords, and then turned it all the way up. Right when the chorus hits, I can't hold back, I begin screaming the chorus as though the lyrics were written for me. Out of the corner of my eye I see the car next to me roll their windows up and glare at me. Who does that? Selena has done nothing wrong except make sweet music. I say shame on those people. Shame! So don't be that person when she comes on. Just enjoy the soft sounds of pure music bliss. Below is a picture of what this lady sort of looked like.

Where have all the good hippies gone?

For decades we have watched hippies do things like dance in the rain, drive VW buses, eat weird plants, and be addicted to things that no one should. I am offended by this lack of hippie. In today's world they just don't exist. It reminds me of a phrase my Grandma often says to me when I would ask her if people loved me, with a confused face she always says, "Huh? They just don't make em like they use to." Obviously she's referring to people's hearts and not to me... anyway, hippies today are not about that lifestyle anymore. They serve no purpose and are just annoying. The other day I was down the street and one yells, "don't be apart of the system man!" What offended me first was his tone. I am two feet away from you no need to shout. I was offended by his use of the word man, yes I am a man, but if you are addressing a stranger you should refer to them as sir or madam. It's just polite! Lastly I was offended by what he yelled. I was wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt with no gym insight. What "system" was I apart of? If a hippie has ever yelled this at you, and you've ever wondered what system you are apart of, don't ask the stupid hippie, they don't know. They all just yell it for no reason. He just kept saying it. It made no sense. Answer the dang question hippie! It made me miss that generation of hippie that is gone. No more free loving, protesting animal testing, and really hating war. Hippies today have no respect, way too many dogs, shout out nonsense, are not organized, and serve no purpose. It is time for you to go hippies. This post is in memory of Clifford Wyatt's dream of getting rid of hippies. Unfortunately they haven't gone away. The picture below shows just some old hippies getting how to be hippies.