I decided that I should start sharing some of my dating experiences every so often. I tell people about them and they think it's a joke, but I can assure you these have really happened. A few months ago I was setup on a double blind date, my buddy and I were taking sisters out. We got there and their Mom starts grilling me with questions! Like, "Where are you going to dinner? What are you doing after?" Look lady I have school so there will not be anything after. Moms, am I right? We finally get our dates and get in to my very economical 2010 Dodge charger 3.5 v6. The conversation was pretty bleak on the way up. Not a big deal, because I knew when we sat down to eat that it would be very different. Boy was I right! We go to Sugarhouse and ate at the Dodo. The food was incredible. The company was not. She calls our waiter over and asks if they have anything on the menu that is gluten free? The waiter then points out a few items, and I laugh. She asks, "Is there something funny about what I asked?" My friend and I make eye contact, he was saying "Don't do it man." But I read it as, "Totally tell her man!" So I begin to tell her that I believe "Celiac disease" is created by the government and is probably just in her head. She gives me a look of disgust, but again I thought the look was saying, "You're so funny, keep this going." I told her that everyone feels a little sick after eating 3 pizza's it has nothing to do with a "gluten allergy." (Notice that I put gluten allergy and Celiac in quotations to illustrate the point that they are not real.) Turns out she was not happy, so I apologized and tried to move on. My friend kept asking her sister questions and that's when it got weirder. He would say, "What's your favorite time of year." She would reply with, "well...sum" and then my date would say, "No it's fall, because of the clothes." Her answer would then change. He asked, "What's your dream job?" She answers with, "I don't think I have one." This is a very good answer, FYI. My date says, "Sissy, it's being a makeup artist." Turns out she thought that was a hobby and not something that could become a profession. As the date dragged on, for what seemed like a life time, we finally left. She runs to my car because she's cold. I tell her the A/C is on so don't get your hopes up. She gets in and the A/C was on. She got mad at me, and I said, "I don't get it, I clearly told you it was on." So I blast the heat. After one minute she turns it off and says, "I'm fine now!" My friend and his date never even felt it. As we kept driving we started having a real conversation. It seemed to finally be turning around. Again, I was very wrong. She told me to take my second left. The street was coming and she says, "I said second left." I said, "well are you counting the apartment entrance as a turn?" She did not enjoy that. I drive past their house to make a U-turn, she did not like that either and says," What is this curb service." I explained how it would be much easier to go home this way. My friend asked what the net in their backyard was. I really just wanted to go home, but he asked something else. The sisters looked at each other weird, and didn't respond. Finally my date tells her sister, "Sissy go ahead, you can tell him." Turns out it was just a batting cage. Now I know I didn't do my best, but I felt they were very odd. Below is a picture of how I wish my date actually had went, a pretty girl enjoying gluten.
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